Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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