I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
my being single is dangerous.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
