you have to choose: penises or morals?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I enjoy the company of your penis
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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