am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
