This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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