we're chasing vodka with high fives
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
