; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
