Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
