i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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