You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
