I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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