and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
