wat bout pragnant strippers??
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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