Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There's always time for handjobs
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
