Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
