Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I looked at my own cervix.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
