yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. đ
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You couldnât remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders âunlimited hand frittersâ if they wouldnât cut you off.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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