shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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