i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
