I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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