We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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