Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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