Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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