i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
