before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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