like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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