Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
