Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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