my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
