It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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