She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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