its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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