just survived the first fart of the relationship.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
