On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
