I am midnight drunk by noon
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
