The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
