Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
