its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
