id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
