the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
