Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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