based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
