walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
