So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
