Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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