do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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