the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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