Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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