I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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