Princesses don't give blow jobs
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
