drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
