everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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