Define "chronic" masturbator.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
